Lilah Rose

Well Lilah after 3.5 years you are finally, sleeping in your own bed, sleeping in your own room and putting yourself to sleep!!

The recent development of you being able to put yourself to sleep has gotten me thinking about the evolution of your bedtime routine. So here it is, as complete as I can remember.

For the first few months it was really easy, hand you to your mom and you would nurse yourself to sleep. On the odd occasion that she would be unavailable I would typically stand up and rock or do deep knee bends until you fell asleep. The key during this period was for me to stand ,if I even tried to sit down you would snap to attention and start to cry, no matter that I kept rocking you.

At about 6-9 months things got a bit trickier as you would be dead tired yet refused to close your eyes and therefore would just stay awake and fuss about being awake. In this time I learned that once you reached a certain point I only needed, by any means necessary, to get you to close those peepers. For a while I could gently blow into your face causing you to blink and viola, you were gone. Eventually, however, you turned this into a game and started laughing and blowing back in my face, argh. I was able to counteract this for a short while by brushing my hand gently across your face, forehead to cheeks.

Thankfully it was around this time that you would let me sit or lie down. So I got in the habit of laying on the couch with you on my chest and gently rolling back and forth until you closed those perfect little eyes. You and I watched many a football game in this position, OK I watched and you snored.

Somewhere between a 18 and 24 months you got tired of me holding you in order to go to sleep and preferred to lay on your belly whilst I gently rocked you with a hand on your back or bottom. This approach continued well into your 3rd year.

One nice addition, once you started talking, was one could gauge exactly how tired and close to sleep you were by the frequency of “I love you”s that you would mutter periodically.

In the fall of 2008, while we were in an Apt. in Norwalk awaiting, our move to Spain, you slept in your own room and bed (at least you started the night there) for a short stint, but it didn’t last and every morning you were in our bed anyway, still we had to put you to sleep.

While we were in Spain you went back and forth between your room and bed and our bed, again you usually migrated to our bed during the course of the night anyway. All the while your mother or I had to spend 30 minutes or more reading/rocking/cajoling you to sleep.

In January of this year you started sleeping AND WAKING, consistently, in your own bed in our room, getting you to sleep was still a nightly chore.

Last week you were finally willing to relieve us of our bed time duties (or least reduce it down to a story) and put yourself to sleep in your own bed, in your own room. And so far there have been only a few mornings where you made your way into our bed during the night. Hooray!

At the time, I was not very happy with many aspects of the arrangement (some times more than others). However, looking back, I wouldn’t trade any one of those nights putting you to sleep for anything in this world (OK, OK there are a couple of them that I would gladly give up…but not many). It was truly a magic time and, don’t tell her, but I think your mom was right all along in her approach to bedtime.

Sleep tight buddy.

Alright kid, first of all you have been a bear for the past month (since the day you turned 3 actually), completely un-cooperative, refusing to sleep, and temper tantrums galore.

Today, however, you were back to your old self full of cheer and ready rock-n-roll when I got home. As is the the habit of late, I had to assume the role of pooh bear as soon as I got home and, apparently, you were Eeyore. Made clear by your crawling around on the floor while complaining, with the proper amount of melancholy in your voice, about the impending rain.

Eventually we made our way over to your blocks and after building your castle 4 blocks tall you declared, with much enthusiasm, it to be “normous”, it doesn’t sound as cute in print as it did in person but I promise you it was quite cute. In fact I coaxed you into repeating several times to my own delight.

It was about this time that you decided you were the “Bad Wolf” and immediately knocked over the tower.

As we got ready for bed this evening, Lilah, I started quizzing you on where things come from. We started with the origin of the wind and ended with “your head” at which point you were unable to give a non-recursive answer.

According to you, Lilah,

wind comes from the sky;
the sky comes from clouds;
clouds come from chickens;
chickens come from barns;
barns come from the ground;
the ground comes from dirt;
dirt comes from doors;
doors come from houses;
houses come from people;
people come from bellies;
bellies come from ur body;
bodies come from germs;
germs come from your head.

It makes perfect sense…except for that part about the chickens……

Camille and I are happy to introduce you all to our family’s newest addition:

Napping with Daddy

Miss {Li-lä} Rose Madison Poston (there is an on-going spelling debate on the first name so I dare not put it in print; hence the pronunciation).

The following is my recollection of the days events, I am sure that Camille will pass along her side (and some corrections) in due time.  Thank you all for the calls and messages, things are a little hectic around here lately so please forgive us if we don’t return the calls right away.

Camille’s water broke Monday (6/17) morning around 9:15am which, after a late breakfast and some more procrastination (Camille snuck in  a nap and I some work), sent us scurrying about to take care of those last minute preparations.  We returned home around 5pm, after a visit to the local deli (Rice Pudding for Camille), Health Food Store (“Recharge” for us all [A WONDERFUL all natural Gatorade substitute by the way]), Cigar Store (for yours truly), just in time to greet Aly Ekblom who drove down from Massachusetts to be with (and help a great deal) us.  I made one last trip to the store and returned home to grill some Chicken breasts and boil some green beans for dinner.

Camille was progressing nicely and by this time her contractions, while relatively short, were starting to intensify, around 8pm (as best we can recall) after spending some time with Aly and I just kicking around in the living room and Deck Camille decided that she wanted to go for a walk around the lake but after going to the bathroom she informed us that felt rather tired and decided to lay down to try and get some rest while she still could.

During this time Aly I took a little breather ourselves she catching up on last week’s episode of Deadwood and myself reading a book and both keeping an ear out for Camille.  Sometime between 9:15 and 9:30 (the time is hazy around here but it was about an hour or so after Camille retired for her nap) another friend, Shannon Callopy, arrived  to offer her wisdom (having given birth to two beautiful girls; one of which is Camille helped deliver, Willow Rose), wonderful assistance and video camera., shortly thereafter I went in to check in on Camille and see how things were going.

At this point Camille’s contractions were commanding  her full attention and she felt that her lying down  was causing them to be more intense and decided to get up and join us in the living room, which did result in a slight easing of the intensity of the contractions (for a little while anyway).  Camille enjoyed a snack of Cottage Cheese and Wheat thins before she started pacing and laboring in various places/positions throughout the house.  After a couple of hours of pacing the house Camille decided that it was time to take that walk around the neighborhood.   Before we left, 10:55pm, I placed a call to the mid-wife, Maryellen, to give her an update on Camille’s condition and she decided that it was time to start making her way to the house (Maryellen lives about 90 minutes away).

During our 30-45 minute walk around the block it was clear that Camille was moving into “Transition” and when we returned, it is now about 11:45pm, there was no mistaking that Camille was indeed in Transition (About here I started worrying about the Mid-wives making it in time….this I kept to myself).  We called Camille’s Mom, Janelle, at 12:05am and let her know it was time.   Around 12:15 I made myself a turkey sandwich (With Duke’s of course) and started seriously worrying about the timely arrival of the Midwife!

At 12:26am I called the Maryellen on her cell and could not get an answer, thinking she was lost or stuck in a construction zone somewhere (silly worrisome expectant father)  I called Joan (The other midwife, who lives 20 minutes away) to see if she had heard from Maryellen recently, she had not.  Joan and I agreed that if Maryellen hadn’t arrived and/or called within the next 15 minutes that she would come on over (Joan’s role, in normal circumstances, is to be there just for the actual delivery, Maryellen’s is to, basically, support, care for and  monitor Camille during “Active Labor”).

It was at this point, while trying to get Camille to drink water, tea, recharge, anything wet that she first started to get ornery with me and you could see the fire in her eyes as she refused the beverages.

Camille’s preferred way of laboring now was by  hanging on me, her arms wrapped around my shoulders, mine around her waist for support and driving the top of her head into my sternum. (Tip for you would be fathers out there: Don’t say a word during the contractions and if she is holding on to you, for Pete’s sake don’t move (no matter how deep her nails have dug into your flesh, save it for before/after the contraction and wear multiple layers of clothing!)

12:45 came and went (as did my sandwich) with no sign of Maryellen, so I called Joan who said she would be right over.   And As you might have guessed, not 5 minutes after I hung up the phone Maryellen arrived at the house, followed by Janelle just a few minutes later.   Camille was in the bathroom.  As Maryellen unpacked her gear and made ready for the birth I surmised her of Camille’s condition, that she was having fairly strong contractions and had very little to eat or drink over the last few hours.  Maryellen, bless her soul, set right to work on Camille calming her (along with the rest of us), taking her and the Baby’s vitals, and getting her to take in some fluids (not much, Camille is stubborn, but some) other than the lack  of fluid intake everybody was doing great.

Maryellen convinced Camille to hop into the shower so as to cool herself down (as you may be aware Monday was a HOT day, and while we have lots of fans we don’t have central Air).  Of course I joined her to be there for the contractions.  It was during the shower that Camille pushed for the first time (this must have been 1:15am; Again the time here is foggy) and started vocalizing during the contractions.  We were in the shower for about 10-15 minutes maybe (5 contractions two pushing) before Camille decided to get out and make her way to the bedroom.

Camille started off lying on the bed, me lying beside her, but again the contractions were to intense for her in this position so she stood/kneeled/stood/squated/kneeled/on one knee/stood/squated beside the bed. with me standing/sitting/squatting beside her (wherever she told me to go basically).  For the next 45 minutes my role was that of a stress ball, Camille squeezed/pinched (full hand pinches) my arms, my shoulders, bending me into positions that I though for sure I would never get out of, bit me (shoulder and arm), actually gave me my first wedgie in at least 18 years (this close to being my first atomic wedgie actually).    At some point in here Joan arrived with more supplies and started prepping for the actual delivery.

After apparently (according to the time-line laid above) 30-45 minutes of intense pushing while squatting/kneeling (on tile floors, we kept offering pillows but she wouldn’t have it) at the side of the bed, clawing my back and shoulders (I was seated on the side of the bed bent over holding her right thigh for support), she bent across my back, so my head was to my left of her torso),  Camille pushed out a beautiful 7lb 1oz baby girl with a full head of black hair who, at the time of birth, let out the littlest cry before being lifted to Mom’s chest.

I had wanted to catch her but to do so would have meant leaving my job of contortionist / stress relief ball So it didn’t happen although I was able to see bits and pieces of the delivery via a small mirror.    The Baby cried right away and was nursing within minutes of being put on Camille’s chest.   The placenta came out about 7-8 minutes later and looked very good (so I am told) and rests in our freezer until we can get a large planter in which to place it and a small tree (luckily for me our culture does not call for us to eat the placenta, but rather uses them for haircare products).   Camille did tear a little and required 3 stitches.

After hogging the baby all to herself for almost an hour I was able to steal little {Li-lä} away while Camille was stitched and cleaned.  {Li-lä} was awake and alert for this and seemed to enjoy sticking her tongue out at me, her little arms and legs clawing and kicking, and her eyes staring intently at my face at which she couldn’t decide weather to laugh or cry.   I only had her for about 15 minutes before it was time to take her back into the bedroom to so we could cut the cord and weigh her (Note she peed before they weighed her so she was a little heavier than 7lbs 1oz when she was born).   By 4:30am we had said our goodbyes to the midwives, made our calls/text/picture messages to friends and family, and found ourselves alone at last with little {Li-lä} sleeping peacefully between us (and that will surely be one of the last peaceful moments in our home for quite some time!).

There were quite a few funny comments that came out of Camille’s mouth (much to my surprise she never screamed nor went on a cursing rampage, in fact I think, other than the nudity, that she was PG at worst).  The funniest was when the Maryellen performed her one and only check of Camille’s cervix, felt {Li-lä}’s head and told Camille “You can feel the Baby’s head if you want to” to which Camille replied through clenched teeth “I am feeling it already” which got a laugh out of us all, except Camille (who did laugh about it later).  Her, Camille’s, favorite vocal was “Oh Goodness, Oh Goodness”, my favorite, heard only once, was “I hate heartburn” which was uttered somewhere towards the end.

All in all that was the most amazing experience I have had the pleasure to be a part of.  We have all seen the films and seen the pictures but until you are there, in it…….  Words can’t describe, that was simply amazing and is forever burned into my mind.  Had it not been for the wonderful midwifery services offered by Maryellen and Joan, along with the support of friends and family (near and far) I would have been to much of a nervous wreck to make it through the day.  Thank you ALL!!!!!

I must say that at first mention the idea of a home birth was very intimidating but after taking a step back and realizing that if we truly needed a hospital and surgeons for “normal” births we, as a species, would have gone extinct long ago.  That being said a home birth is not the “Right” decision.  The only “Right” decision is whatever you and your partner are comfortable with, not what I am comfortable with or what your Mother is comfortable with or what your neighbor is comfortable with.